Transcript

I'm conflicted about the last year.

While I had a lot of successes

Job!
Another, better job!
Comic success!
Paid comic work!
TCAF!
Cats

It also felt like a really isolating year.

I can't participate in a community that protects privilege so defensively.
I can't go to an event that is dangerous and that I find personally harmful.
I can't share space with a particular person at this party.
I don't have the emotional energy to participate in workshopping this issue.

But you should go.

In 2015 I saw my loved ones reach out, try new things, and forge bonds with exciting new people. I was happy for their happiness.

But I felt a lot of doubt.

Where do I fit in? Why I can't do this? What's wrong with me?

I'm scared to hold my people back...

Please don't go.

And I'm scared to be left behind.

Please come back to me.

I wish I had solutions planned out for 2016. I don't.

While I'm looking forward to so many things,
Comic opportunities
Education
Career
Sex
Writing
Events

I'm terrified that this will be the thing that tethers me down.

Self-enforced Isolation.

Retrospective

Posted on January 12, 2016 by Robot Hugs

New comic! I feel like I spent a lot of 2015 reaching out, and the pulling back. I'm not as flexible as my partners, and I feel exclusion, norming, and danger keenly. 2015 gave me some amazing successes, wonderful opportunities, and I have grown as a person and as a professional. 2015 also made me question what communities are, whether they truly exist, and I felt real doubt about where I fit in the activism and recreation spaces, and how I fit in with people who don't find those spaces as challenging as I do.