Panel 1:

(Man 1 whistles at two women walking with their arms around each other)

Panel 2:

Woman 1: (to man 1) Hey, screw off.

Panel 3:

Man 1: Hey, I'm a guy...you can't blame me for finding it sexy watching two girls get together.

Panel 4:

Robot Hugs (RH): I didn't really get good access to queer communities and queer media until I was in my 20's.

(Image of a ticket to the film festival Inside Out, image of QGLBT flag, Logo for Crashpad on a laptop screen)

Panel 5:

Text: Before then, the only way I would see lesbian and queer sexuality was in movies and TV shows, music videos and porn.

(Poster for Black Swan, TV shot of lips wearing lipstick, porn cover saying 'Lesbian Nymphos')

Panel 6:

Text: That meant that the only way I could usually see my own sexuality was in images and stories created by men and packaged for the pleasure of men.

[Picture of a clapboard with an arrow pointing to a computer screen saying 'GIRL ON GIRL']

Panel 7:

RH: Honestly, it kind of messed me up. Even when I was with women, I felt like I was managing the sexual needs and expectations of men.

Panel 8::

Text: I didn't have the experience or tools to understand how damaging it is to constantly have your sexual identity reflected back at you, warped and repurposed for the consumption of others.

(RH looking into a mirror that is reflecting back a sexualized image of themself with the eyes scratched out)

Panel 9:

Text: "That's just in media", people might say, but I know from experience it all maps back to the real world ...

Panel 10:

(Man talking to two women)

Man: So.... would you ladies ever be interested in a threesome?

Panel 11:

(Man 2 talking to another person)

Man 2: Ugh. Lesbians are hot, but nothing turns me off like an ugly dyke.

Panel 12:

(Man 3 talking to two women)

Man 3: You know... you can make out or whatever. I don't mind.

Panel 13:

(Man 4 spits on a woman holding hands with another woman)

Man 4: sluts!

Panel 14:

RH: I began to feel alienated from this identity that was growing inside of me, because I felt like it would never really belong to me.

Panel 15:

Text: Even when I was with my lover, alone, I started to feel like there was a shadow in the room, watching us. The eyes of men were such a constant part of our relationship that I felt like I could never get away from them.

(Image of two people cuddling while an indistinct shadowy figure watches)

Panel 16:

RH: And knowing that it was affecting me to much made me feel like I was messing up the queer cause, or something. I mean, if this was bothering me so much, wasn't *I* the one who was letting the patriarchy define my relationship?

(A sign saying 'bad queer?' is over RH's head)

Panel 17:

RH: Even now, I sometimes wonder what the shape of my sexual identity would look like if queer femme sex and sexuality wasn't constantly co-opted by and for heterosexual men. How much of my early identify was shaped in reaction to or defence against that lens?

Panel 18:
RH: But this is who I am now, and it's pretty awesome, and it belongs to me and me alone. And this is what I know:

Panel 18:

(Image of man 1)

Text: Hey you.

Man 1: What?

Text: I know you get told over and over and over

Panel 19:

Text: that our bodies are for your pleasure

(a TV screen shows a man suggesting a threesome to two excited women in lingerie)

Panel 20:

Text: that our sexuality is for your consumption

(Image of advertisement for shows depicting a strong man with women draped over him)

Panel 21:

Text: that the way we fuck is for your fantasy

(porn cover that says 'Teen Lesbos')

Panel 22:

Text: but we fuck for each other

(Woman pulling another woman by her tie, both smiling)

Panel 23:

Text: and for love

(A woman taking off her partner's shirt)

Panel 24:

Text: and for fun

(a pair of hands bound by cuffs)

Panel 25:

Text: and for ourselves

(a person lying in a bubble bath)

Panel 26:

Text: weirdly

(a woman dressed like a dinosaur wearing fishnet stockings with a topless woman who is pretending to be scared)

Panel 27:

Text: Badly

(two people lying in bed looking awkward)

Panel 28:

Text: With toys

(a woman holding up a bunch of vibrators and dildos)

Panel 29:

Text: With words

(A cell phone showing part of a set of text messages: Message 1: mmmm...that sounds nice. Message 2: And then what? Message 3: Then i'm going to take your [obscured] and make you...)

Panel 30:

Text: Wonderfully

(a door surrounded by exclamation marks and hearts)

Text: And yes, it's hot.

Panel 31:

Text: But the way we kiss

(two women kissing)

Panel 32:

Text: And touch

(a person with a bit mark and scratch marks on her back, smiling)

Panel 33:

Text: and love

(two hands holding)

Panel 34:

Text: is ours. And when we fuck, it has nothing at all to do with you.

(phrases appear crossed out: So can I watch? That is so hot. How about a threesome?)

Panel 35:

(Woman 1 and 2 walking away, with Man 1 in the background)

Not Yours

New comic! This comic was originally created for Everyday Feminism here. I have yet to meet a woman in a relationship with another woman who hasn't encountered a guy suggesting a threesome. Hey dude, what's up with taking the one of the only possible configurations of sex and intimacy that doesn't involve you as a demographic, and then just mentally shoving yourself in the middle of it?