Transcript

Panel 1

(standing in front of an advertisement for Manly Soap)

Robot Hugs (RH): Hey, you know what's weirdly gendered?

Person 1: Everything?

RH: Well, yeah. But today I'm talking about emotions. 

Panel 2

RH: Emotions are basic, natural, uncontrollable, human things. We all feel. We may express how we are feeling differently, but we feel nonetheless. 

Panel 3

(RH looking through a magnifying glass that has the male and female symbols around it's frame)

RH: But there's a gendered lens through which the expression of emotion is permitted. For example...

Panel 4

Angry 
"That incompetent asshole screwed up again!! Fuck!"

(symbol for male)  Angry
(symbol for female ) Crazy (acceptable: frustrated, non-confrontational and undirected towards people)

Panel 5

Sad 
"This is so hard.I can't stop crying"

(symbol for male)  Pathetic/Embarrassing (acceptable: single manly tear)
(symbol for female) Emotional

Panel 6

Fear 
"I'm scared. I don't think I can do this"

(symbol for male) Weak (acceptable: stoicism, assertiveness)
(symbol for female)  Vulnerable

Panel 7

Confidence 
'We need to get this done tomorrow'

(symbol for male)  Leader
(symbol for female) Bitch (acceptable: competent but accommodating)

Panel 8

These gendered stereotypes are also used as tools to invalidate trans identities 

Woman 1: As a trans woman, when I get mad, people insinuate that I'm acting like a man... 

Panel 9

And there's a racial lens here as well, when expressing emotions is used to discredit or ignore people because of racial stereotypes:

Woman 2: I have to moderate how I present issues I'm passionate about so I don't get dismissed as an 'angry black woman'. 

Panel 10

Emotional policing is one of the ways that gendered stereotypes and patriarchy hurt men as well as women. 

Man 1: As a man, I get a lot of messages about how I have to be the leader, the actor, the conflict, and the conflict resolver. It doesn't give me a lot of room for me to talk about feeling uncertain, or scared, or weak, or depressed. 

Panel 11

Unsurprisingly, emotions that are risky for men to express are ones that are associated with femininity:

Pain:
Man 2: Pull yourself together, you're acting like a little bitch. 
(bitch is crossed out and replaced with 'woman')

Fear:
Man 3:  Stop being such as pussy!
(pussy is crossed out and replaced with 'woman')

Joy: 
Woman 3: It was kind of embarrassing, he cried like a little girl. 
(little girl is crossed out and replaced with 'woman')

Panel 12

The math: 
Woman-things are bad, (female symbol equals 'bad')
so men shouldn't act like women (male symbol with 'not equal' woman symbol)
 Women are emotional (woman crying), therefore men shouldn't be emotional (male symbol with 'not equals' crying)

Panel 13

While there are (often limited and problematic) ways for women to emulate stereotypically 'masculine' qualities:

Strong female protagonist (woman in a superhero outfit)
Just one of the guys (Woman holding a beer)
Professional and competent businesswoman (woman in a business suit)

Panel 14

RH: There aren't a lot of accessible and positive examples of men having the ability to express a full range of human emotions, with one exception: Anger. 

Panel 15

In media, positive portrayals of male protagonists often resolve their problems physically:

(posters for Die Hard, Wolverine, Taken, Punisher)

Panel 16

RH:
Panel 17

Loss
(arrow towards 'cry', crossed out with 'weak' written under it. Arrow towards 'talk to someone' crossed out with 'weak' written under it, arrow towards 'Anger' with 'strong' written under it) 

Panel 18

When men are discouraged from expressing emotions, they are also discouraged from seeking help for those emotions, making mental health and support resources difficult to access. 

Man 4: I was taught to 'pull myself together'. I was never taught how to call for help. 

Panel 19

RH: Part of the effort of feminism to make the world safer for all genders, including men, is  de-gendering normal human experiences, and destigmatizing things associated with femininity. 

Panel 20

So let's write men who cry and women who fight and genderqueer people who complain and boys who get giddy and girls who are proud. 

Fuck Boy's don't cry. 
Fuck Don't be bossy
Fuck Grow some balls
Fuck Calm down

Panel 21

And support people around you by recognizing and reflecting emotions. 

Man 5: Man, you must be devastated, do you need to talk?
Man 6: Holy shit, that would make me furious. How are you feeling now?
Woman 7: It's ok to be scared. 

Panel 22

When we are free to express and talk about emotions without having to fear compromising our identities, we create space for individuals and communities to be healthier and safer. 

Panel 23

RH: I know I'd feel pretty good about that.

Man 1: Wouldn't you?

Emotions

Posted on July 21, 2015 by Robot Hugs
New comic! This comic was originally posted on Everyday Feminism. Note: A Hebrew version of this comic can be found here! (Translation: Tsipi) I encounter fairly frequently men who are under the misconception that feminism is solely concerned with promoting the interests of women over everyone else. The truth is, the gender essentialism and gender dichotomy that is upheld by patriarchy is harmful to every gender. While men may benefit as individuals on items such as the wage gap, as a whole they are far more damaged than benefited by sexism. The construction of women as mothers and housekeepers and men as breadwinners perpetuates the 'dumb dad' stereotype. Constructions of women as weak and men as strong create societies that fail to recognize men who experience sexual assault or partner violence. And gosh, emotions - gender stereotypes make emotions a minefield for every gender. Men can't cry, women can't get angry. Men shouldn't be too passive, women shouldn't be too assertive. The emotions of trans people are closely scrutinized for expressions that betray them as their 'real' gender. And the intersections of race, poverty, disability... the truth is, we're told over and over again from birth how we should be able to express how we're feeling. And it's killing us. This is the work of feminism - gender equality is not some straw man of the ultimate global superiority of women. Gender equality is the ability for every individual to express themselves honestly, without the social straightjacket of gendered prescriptivism holding them back.