Once I had a guy message me and be like
I don't get why you're picking on Joss Whedon. He has much better female characters than most tv or movies, plus he's probably one of the biggest feminists in hollywood, so I get mind of mad when i see feminists picking on his work.
Or
Sometimes I also hear guys who get called out on some shitty behaviour towards women and they freak out
'hey, hey, I'm on your side! Don't get mad at me! I'm a feminist - it's this other guys you should be mad at!'
So let me be clear:
1: I have no strong feelings about Joss Whedon whatsoever except when someone tells me that I should be grateful that he exists because he doesn't shit on women all the time.
2: When you call yourself a feminist, or an ally, or any other term, you are not buying yourself a shield.
When Joss Whedon calls himself a feminist, he does not magically become immune to feminist criticism.
In fact, by publicly identifying himself with a critical movement, we expect even more rigor and thought out of his work, because he has literally gone on record to nominate himself as someone who is aware of pervasive issues in media around women and gender.
Likewise, when you are a feminist, it doesn't mean you can't be shitty towards women, deliberately or accidentally, and it doesn't mean that your problematic behaviour becomes invisible.
For example, as an intersectional feminist, when someone says to me
That thing you said was racist.
If I said
I didn't mean to be racist! It's not my fault! I'm on your side!
I'd be using my alignment with intersectional feminism to deny responsibility for my own internalized racism.
My intersectional feminism requires that I try to say
I'm sorry, I didn't know that or intend harm. I'm going to find out more how not to do that, and I'm happy to hear more if you'd like to tell me more about it. Thanks for letting me know'.
Feminism doesn't give you a shield, it makes you a work in progress.
Feminism shouldn't protect you from criticism, it should give you the tools to critique yourself.
Your feminism badge doesn't say
I'm a feminist!
So don't yell at me!
It says
Ask me for help, and tell me how I can do better.
